Have you ever felt that church is just becoming a routine? You know without a shadow of a doubt that the gospel is true. However, it has been a very long time since something really hit home. You go each week wanting to renew your covenants and wanting to surround yourself with the feelings there. Let's be honest, just walking into sacrament meeting makes you feel so good, it's like taking a long deep breath. You go to classes, listen, participate, and you go home. Nothing super exciting happened. You feel good and ready to take on the week. You than however, begin to reflect. When was the last time I truly felt the spirit. The overwhelming, heart beating out your chest kind of feeling? What am I doing to make it so i'm not always feeling that. This week I made a valiant effort to be prepared for Sunday. I got my primary lesson all planned out and actually woke up and got ready. I was going today and I was staying all three hours. To some of you this might sound silly but for me Satan tries his very hardest to keep me from all three meetings. I walked into primary ready to sub wherever they needed us ( we are permanent subs ) to find out the teachers showed up. I didn't think anything of it and we headed to Sunday School.
Bro E started his lesson and scriptures i've read a dozen times stood out to me. I was understanding and pulling things out I hadn't before. Wow this was pretty cool I thought, or maybe I was actually just more awake this week from the sugar the night before. Relief society started as I sat in the front row ( which is huge for me ) I read over the hand out and my body started to feel all tingly and warm. I hadn't prayed for any answers to questions, what was going on? We started to talk about fasting and its purposes and it's blessings. We were asked to share any experiences we had from paying fasts and or fasting. My heart started beating so hard, my whole body felt like it went numb and than I started talking. I shared how grateful I was to those in the ward who paid fast offerings because my family has tremendously been blessed. We had food on our table that would not have been there if it weren't for faithful members. The lesson ended with this scripture " And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up. " My Father in Heaven was completely aware of my spiritual needs. He knew that this lesson would be one to prick my heart. It was exactly what I needed to be re-converted. I am grateful that though this world continues to get darker there is still hope. Our savior lives he is fully aware of the things we need. As we strive to keep or covenants he will bless us with the means necessary to press on and keep fighting.
Love always,
K
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